While They’re Alive

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The social media world’s in mourning over the death of Soundgarden frontman Chris Cornell, 52. He hung himself yesterday. Nobody knows why, although he suffered from depression, which is an explanation in itself I suppose.

Every time someone famous does this, people start in on the same post-mortem like they really give a shit.

Earlier today, I heard two talking heads on the radio acting real somber over Cornell’s death like they were suicide and depression experts, pulling emotion out of two guys who knew and loved the musician. One of the guys, a friend, was there at Cornell’s last performance, admitting that it seemed like he was going through the motions.

Here was a superstar by grunge metal standards, a hero, a leader, a statement against the mainstream machine… a huge fucking deal. Millions of strangers are gonna worship Cornell.

He lived the kind of life we all dreamed of, and yet, it still didn’t seem to be enough to keep him here. That should tell us all something.

Maybe sitting with him in the dark for however long it takes, reaching out without being asked, being inconvenienced for five fucking seconds for god’s sakes … wouldn’t have done anything to change his fate. Maybe his depression was too strong.

But for those who did nothing, do nothing but continue to make excuses after the fact then come around like a bunch of tragedy jackals ready to feast on the leftovers of a supremely human tragedy, like all of a sudden it fucking matters now that he’s dead for you to be okay with loving him… FUCK YOU.

I know so many people who keep their love to themselves and their own — until someone outside that inner circle passes away. Then they go on Facebook to lead the charity charge, as if they walked the walk the entire time. You know, instead of getting up off their asses and driving over to the surviving family and just being there.

Get away from me with your after-the-fact compassion. Weren’t you the fake assholes who posted that you’d “pray for me” when I was in a dark fucking pit and needed you there beside me? Weren’t you the two-faced self-serving profoundly self-centered weak-willed assholes who claimed to care but then went about your usual masturbatory business?

I make a point of telling people that I love them, even when I know goddamn well they do not and will never love me back. I go out of my way, especially when I’m hurting, to help other people not just my immediate family, because I know what it’s like to be utterly alone and utterly abandoned by everyone including my own family.

I’ve had loved ones turn their backs on me when I’ve needed them the most, some of them have stabbed me in the back. But I would still give them the shirt off my back.

Because I’ve been there.

I will never know what Cornell went through, the battles he won and lost. Many, too many people just like him are ready to be next. A lot of them have reached out, in their own way, and been dismissed or ignored because you have a girls’ night out, Bible study, your grandchildren coming over, the Seahawks are having a parade downtown… some bullshit excuse.

If you haven’t reached out when you had a chance, then please STFU. Nobody relevant wants to hear from you.

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