Every so often, too often to mention, I’m up late staring at old photos of loving married couples, comparing them to the current ones in social media.
What a messed up game of musical chairs they play.
The line that keeps repeating in my head is, “Why don’t you love him anymore?”
I am duped daily by convincing people and their convincing acts. All my life, really.
My parents were expert at putting on a good front for the public, then showing their true selves in private.
I watch this happen all the time, all around me.
There’s this couple that bothers me, they were married for about 25 years. They seemed happy. Everyone adored them, especially their children. Now, she’s off with another guy and his kid, and he’s alone struggling every day for an emotional foothold.
I keep going back to this picture I took of them at a birthday party. They doted on their child. They were so perfect together. He lived and breathed for her and the family they carefully grew. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?
What happened? When did they stop loving each other? Do they turn it off like a faucet or a computer? Why am I supposed to slither off and pretend I didn’t bear witness to any of this?
I get sucked in, and then, as I’m digging myself back out, these fucking people are gallivanting off into their self-made sunsets like nothing happened.
I swear the Rapture could come, or the mushroom cloud — and these people would go around acting like it’s an ordinary day, bitching about traffic and Donald Trump. Like usual.
I feel like screaming at them, slapping their doe-eyed faces. shaking the life back into them. “What is wrong with you? Do something! Say something! FEEL SOMETHING!”
Acknowledge what happened. Let’s talk about it. Yell, throw things across the room, let’s get it all out. I want, no, I demand to know how you move on after everything you’ve put each other (us, me) through.
I don’t want to know about your awards, your lavish hotel stays and vacations, or your homemade strawberry jam.
Tell me the truth or I swear I’ll tear this curtain to shreds.