Am I supposed to like “Breaking Bad’s” Walter White? Because, I don’t. In fact, I hate him with a venom, to the point of distraction.
I hate people like him. The nice guy facade hiding the bully, the self-serving con artist who thinks nothing of relentlessly hounding you into submission and stepping over your body to get to the goods, who expects everyone to fall at his feet, do his bidding, reveal every detail of their every thought, word, and deed, yet “I don’t owe you or anybody any explanation!”
Most of the time when I’m watching this award-winning AMC series — and well into the fourth season — I’m screaming at the top of my lungs for Walter to go fuck himself, or praying that Jesse wises up and lets the dick get what’s coming to him — preferably with a public humiliation and a beating that lasts several weeks, from head to toe.
Bryan Cranston is an amazing actor to pull me in and pull this detestable character off so convincingly. He sure taps into the archetype from hell for me, personally.
I didn’t realize how much I detested this kind of person and how many of them are in my life until I watched Walter in living color on my TV screen.
What bugs me the most about Walter is not necessarily the lying, but the mild-mannered, pleasant, nice family guy act he puts on like a cheap suit, like everyone else does on Facebook and in other manufactured social situations.
It’s a kind of hypocrisy I’ve lived with all my life, and something I really could do without. It’s why I shy away from large groups of people, choose to be by myself, and wait for relationships to end. It’s why I can’t, for my own survival and well-being, take you at your verbose, flowery word.
In my experience, those who talked a good game were the biggest liars once you got past their white picket fences. The nicest ones are almost always colossal assholes. Look at my parents and my brother; they had so many people fooled.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines hypocrisy as “a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not : behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel His hypocrisy was finally revealed with the publication of his private letters.; especially : the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion”
Do you have any idea how much hypocrisy repulses me? The minute I see a person’s mask slip, I’m halfway out the door.
This happens to me all the time, which probably means I’m some sort of sick magnet for Narcissists. (Consider the alternative, right?) I went to therapy about my co-dependency, and believe me, I continue to work on myself and my bug repellant.
Recently, I’ve decided to cut more Walters out of my life.
These are very well-liked, popular people, mind you. They give off the vibe that they’re super-compassionate, understanding, able to be stoic in the face of crises — but only when it comes to them, as I’ve learned repeatedly.
I’ve no problem offering my own compassion and understanding. I’ve even dropped what I was doing to do things for them, offer to do more, even orchestrate financial help. I’ve been there 24/7 if they needed someone to talk to. They’ve never needed me.
When it was my turn, radio silence. They’re suddenly too busy, and we all have to die sometime, Are you right by the Lord?
You know what? Fuck them.
The supply is gone, assholes. Go somewhere else.