It’s been over four weeks since The Incident with my now-former best friend. I thought I was over it. Onto the next drama, right?
I shared what had happened way after the fact with another person I thought cared about me. When I saw her email about the incident, I naively expected oodles of sympathy, even a fired-up invective or two about that thoughtless bitch.
I began to read this person’s email, hoping to see something along the lines of, “How dare she hurt you like this?! What kind of mom would say such an unforgivable thing to someone else‘s child?”
Instead, in the first line, I got this: “I see how hurt you were by her comments. But teens are deceptive… I used to brag that … was so honest that he turned his cousin and him in about some beer up the road at our cabin. In retrospect he talks now about a lot of things I was totally unaware of. Naivety. I thought because I had never done anything like that, my children wouldn’t.” Blah, blah, blah.
Is this about you or about me? I’m confused.
Against my better judgment, I laid into her. I wasn’t cruel. I just wasn’t interested in tip-toeing around her feelings anymore. I made it clear that her response pained me, and after writing pages of back story in defense of myself, pissed that I’m explaining myself to someone I shouldn’t have to explain myself to.
I don’t expect you to kiss my ass. Believe me, I confronted my teenaged son. I did my due diligence as a responsible parent. (But thanks for assuming the worst about me.) For three days straight, I put him through an interrogation process as hardcore as a real-life civil trial. I made it clear that I would not tolerate lying, not after my best friend made a slanderous accusation with our friendship, and his reputation, on the line. I actually gave her accusations more credence than they deserved.
In the end, it came down to whether I believed my son’s account or hers. I chose to believe my son, because he has never given me any reason to doubt him. Her, on the other hand? LOL. Case closed.
I only confided in a handful of friends about what happened. Only two of them responded as friends and decent human beings. Ben simply said, “I believe you.” Claudia laughed her ass off at the accusation, said it was total bullshit, and that best friend was “a shady bitch.” She said if my son was wilding out, she would’ve immediately come to me and told me, and I believe her.
Everybody else started in on the “lying teens” bullshit, then projected what they went through as proof that my son was just one of them.
What they don’t seem to grasp is that I’m okay with teens being teens. I was a teen myself. We can talk about any issues as a family, no judgment, open communication. My son knows he can come to me about anything. He knows what I will and won’t tolerate. Head in the sand? Blindly defending him?
If anything I’m way too hard on him. Thank for playing, though!
He’s not the psychopath who insists there’s no party when you can clearly hear a party going on, on the other end of the landline — like a certain holier-than-thou, hypocritical ex-best friend’s son did this past summer.
But I’m the one with the problem child? Okay, LOL, you go with that, sweetheart.
My son? He’s never had that problem.
After all was said and done, I did not appreciate having this ugly mess thrown back in my face, again, by someone who wasn’t there and who professes to love me. I’m done with it.
I don’t have to justify myself to you. To quote that Patti LaBelle song, “If you don’t know me by now, you will never never know me.”
And, you don’t deserve me.